Post by eirra on Jan 26, 2008 20:46:17 GMT -5
Disclaimer: I don’t own Ryan, I do own Eirra, this is based on a rp Ani and I did, and she has not read it before, so please don’t assume that this is a part of the character’s histories or futures or anything. It’s a fanfic, it never takes place, and… Ryan’s fucking hot. That’s all you guys really need to know. xDDD
God, I’m sorry Ani. I probably totally butchered Ryan’s character traits :-( I'll try and do a better job on the next fanfic *is already writing another one xD*
Um… the story takes place right after Ryan kills some LIGHT scientists … and I don’t feel like typing anymore. Go to Ani’s post on the drawings board. I’m lazy :-(
Oh! The possum joke at the end: Eirra devoured a road killed possum in front of Ryan, and then offered to regurgitate some up for him if he got hungry. For some reason, he found this gross 0_o
My Mind, My Body, My Soul
Eirra crouched on the roof of the movie theatre, knees drawn up to her chest, arms intertwined around herself. Her eyes were wide open, but she was unable to see the morning sun that breached the clouds, the people and cars below that scurried along in their busy lives, unaware of the creatures that cowered above them. Eirra heard the shouts below her, the crude honking of horns, as she could feel the strong arm that draped about her shoulders, but she only saw darkness. Her teeth were gritted against the raging desire, the ravenous need, to see the man that sat by her side, the man whose arm was around her shoulders.
“Ryan…” Eirra whispered, attempting to quell the trembling in her voice. She failed, and her voice broke into shaky pieces. “Ryan, I can’t see you. I can’t see you, I can’t see you, I can’t see you.” The words tumbled from her numb lips, over and over again in torrents of shocked confusion. The tears she had been fighting for an hour broke free to trickle from her sightless eyes down her face.
“I know,” whispered Ryan.
“I can’t see you.” The words vibrated shock and pain, but failed to register with Eirra. She was blind. How the hell could she be blind? It was almost incomprehensible to her. It seemed so damningly final that it felt unreal, as if it were happening to someone else, a stranger. It was a stranger who had stood in the theatre, a stranger whose last sight had been the liquid flying towards her face. It couldn’t be her who felt the searing pain that shred her eyes. It couldn’t have been her opening her eyes, seeing nothing, hearing Ryan tell her that she was blind.
Eirra was numb to the events that had occurred. Buried under her numbess, however, she was scared. Terror-stricken. She was lost, suffocating in her vast, velvet cover of night. Eirra began to shake uncontrollably. Ryan tightened his arm around her shoulder and she rested in the curvature of his arm. The two sat in silence.
The minutes and seconds passed aggravatingly, and Eirra wanted to snap, to scream, to fly, to see, to do anything but simply sit in her blindness. But she couldn’t. “Ryan?” she spoke tentatively. “Do you- is this… temporary?” There was a false hope in the darkness that clouded her, a naïve hope, an empty hope.
Ryan looked at her, into her eyes which could not see. He began slowly and softly. “I… I don’t know. I can… look for something. But…. I don’t know, Eirra, I’m sorry.” The words hung in the air, hollow and filled with a staggering emptiness, devoid of all but despondency .
Having little else to do, Eirra turned and curled closer to Ryan, resting her head on his shoulder, burying her face in his hair, her hand clenching his arm. She heard him give a sharp intake of breath as she pressed against his chest, which had been slashed open by a LIGHT scientist’s knife only an hour ago. She pulled away. “Sorry.”
Ryan tightened his grip on her, pulling her back to his chest, his hand absently entwined in the flames of her hair. “It’s all right.” Though she could not see him, Eirra felt his presence, his strong arms encircling her body, and she smelled the enriching fragrance of blood mixed with the stinging, sharp scent of sweat and exhaustion.
The body could belong to anyone, Eirra realized in sudden horror. She couldn’t see who it was. Without her sight, she could only trust that it was Ryan who held her, who comforted her. In the theatre, it could have been her treacherous brother who had best to wrap her in his arms or her infidel of a father, or a LIGHT scientist. The only way she could recognize danger was by its voice. Until Ryan spoke, she could really have no idea who it was that held her. This realization terrified her more then the prospect of eternal blindness. To never see Ryan’s face again… to be exposed to the possibility of a protector’s arms turn fatal... Eirra felt sick.
A sudden claw of pure fear seized her and she began to twist uncomfortable in Ryan’s arms, trying to force her eyes to see, pleading in her mind for her retinas to heal, to regain her sight, pleading with fate to change. Gasps and soft cries escaped her mouth. She was helpless, castaway on a sea of darkness with no light, no hope, no promise of land or rest. Only more darkness to look at. These panic attacks had been coming in strong and merciless waves over the past 60 minutes, gripping her in their chaotic tide over and over again.
Feeling her fear, Ryan stroked Eirra’s chin, attempting to calm her convulsions, and lifted her face up to his. Her eyes were clouded over and blank with sightlessness. She continued to squirm as if trapped in some horrific, waking nightmare, until Ryan, very tenderly, spoke her name. “Eirra, listen to me.” he gave a sigh, and with the steady rise and fall of his chest, Eirra’s heart slowly began to regain a smoother pace. “I know-” Ryan’s voice faltered as he wondered how to proceed. He wasn’t very good at these things. “I know you’re afraid-”
But before he could continue, Eirra shattered into his words. “You can’t know, Ryan!” In her breaking voice was every wound she’d sustained that night, every aspiration for the normality that had been brutally been ripped from her in a matter of a few perturbing seconds. Her tone was a hurricane of fear and anger, confusion and pain. “You can’t possibly know! I can’t… I cannot see you, Ryan. I can’t see anything. I feel the warmth of the sun on my face, so I would assume it must be morning, but that could be nothing more then an illusion, a lie. I could be looking up into a heat lamp, or resting near a heater. I can’t know, Ryan. I can’t know anything. I can’t see, I’m blind. I’m blind, and I’m lost... so lost… and so tired…”
Eirra’s voice faltered and failed her, and she clung desperately to Ryan’s arm, leaning against him his torso, her short, jerky breath rocking her body erratically. She fought against the pain that tormented her eyes and soul, against the tears that threatened to betray her in her weakness. But as her hurt overwhelmed her, she gave in and simply let the tears come in shameful, unfaltering rain.
“Eirra,” Ryan spoke softly. “Don’t… don’t talk. Just… relax, don’t think for a second and listen to me. You’re not blind. You may not be able to see my body right now, you may not be able to see the beauties of the sun or the atrocities of the world, but you can still see- you can still see me. You see who I am, not how I look.” Ryan took a breath and went on, “You can still see beauty, Eirra, only now it will be true beauty. Not a mask, not a faux face painted to look like something pretty, but the beauty of the soul- an invisible kind of beauty that many go their whole lives without seeing. You can still see me, Eirra. You can see and feel my mind, my body, my soul.” Ryan blinked in surprise at himself, and at his sudden, uncharacteristic revealing of his unabashed emotions and thought. What surprised him more was that he recognized fear in himself; fear that Eirra would now look upon him and see the monster that he was. He had a longing to ask her what she saw in him, what he was to her, but he repressed the urge, and satisfied himself with looking down into her face, her eyes burning so brightly in the darkness, and tried to guess what emotions laid buried there.
Eirra peered back up at him, eyes unfocused, and whispered in a breath that brushed along Ryan’s lips. “I saw the before.” She confessed. “I saw you before. I mean… all of what you described. I was always able to see that thing, at least in you.” She paused. “You were- are- so… beautiful.”
Ryan blinked. ‘Beautiful’? It’d been a long time anyone had ever called him that. He looked at Eirra, looked at the sun that reflected of her pale face, that burned into the red of her lips. Before he knew what he was doing, his head was tilting forward and his lips met Eirra’s. Her lips in turn embraced his, salvaging the taste, the texture of him. His hand gently slid through her hair and down to rest on her neck; her hand found his face, and she traced his jaw slowly, memorizing him with her fingertips. The kiss lasted only for a couple seconds, but the fire it fueled burned in the two creations for hours after.
When at last they fell apart, both Ryan and Eirra turned their heads slowly, away from each other, and out to the world. Ryan’s face held the tinge of a red hue; Eirra’s was pensive and calm, her fear of blindness seemed to be frozen for a moment. The two outcasts sat quietly together, feeling the translucent beauty of the Earth washing up against their skin, absorbing the rays of the sun with their souls, oblivious and impervious to the violence and decay of the rotting lives and sins below.
Eirra rested her weary head on Ryan’s shoulder and the man looked down at her. Feeling the motion of his head, she tilted her head up in his direction and a weak smile played on her lips. “Want some possum?” she joked through her misery.
Ryan’s own laugh surprised him, but he didn’t stop. Neither did Eirra as she joined in, and the two laughed as if it was the last sound they would ever make, letting their laughter carry them far away from all the pain and torturous confusion they felt, away from the world and its worries and sadistic cruelties, away to their own unspoken paradise where they watched everything they knew begin a metamorphosis into something strange, something new, something very much like a pure and perfect beauty.
The End
God, I’m sorry Ani. I probably totally butchered Ryan’s character traits :-( I'll try and do a better job on the next fanfic *is already writing another one xD*
Um… the story takes place right after Ryan kills some LIGHT scientists … and I don’t feel like typing anymore. Go to Ani’s post on the drawings board. I’m lazy :-(
Oh! The possum joke at the end: Eirra devoured a road killed possum in front of Ryan, and then offered to regurgitate some up for him if he got hungry. For some reason, he found this gross 0_o
My Mind, My Body, My Soul
Eirra crouched on the roof of the movie theatre, knees drawn up to her chest, arms intertwined around herself. Her eyes were wide open, but she was unable to see the morning sun that breached the clouds, the people and cars below that scurried along in their busy lives, unaware of the creatures that cowered above them. Eirra heard the shouts below her, the crude honking of horns, as she could feel the strong arm that draped about her shoulders, but she only saw darkness. Her teeth were gritted against the raging desire, the ravenous need, to see the man that sat by her side, the man whose arm was around her shoulders.
“Ryan…” Eirra whispered, attempting to quell the trembling in her voice. She failed, and her voice broke into shaky pieces. “Ryan, I can’t see you. I can’t see you, I can’t see you, I can’t see you.” The words tumbled from her numb lips, over and over again in torrents of shocked confusion. The tears she had been fighting for an hour broke free to trickle from her sightless eyes down her face.
“I know,” whispered Ryan.
“I can’t see you.” The words vibrated shock and pain, but failed to register with Eirra. She was blind. How the hell could she be blind? It was almost incomprehensible to her. It seemed so damningly final that it felt unreal, as if it were happening to someone else, a stranger. It was a stranger who had stood in the theatre, a stranger whose last sight had been the liquid flying towards her face. It couldn’t be her who felt the searing pain that shred her eyes. It couldn’t have been her opening her eyes, seeing nothing, hearing Ryan tell her that she was blind.
Eirra was numb to the events that had occurred. Buried under her numbess, however, she was scared. Terror-stricken. She was lost, suffocating in her vast, velvet cover of night. Eirra began to shake uncontrollably. Ryan tightened his arm around her shoulder and she rested in the curvature of his arm. The two sat in silence.
The minutes and seconds passed aggravatingly, and Eirra wanted to snap, to scream, to fly, to see, to do anything but simply sit in her blindness. But she couldn’t. “Ryan?” she spoke tentatively. “Do you- is this… temporary?” There was a false hope in the darkness that clouded her, a naïve hope, an empty hope.
Ryan looked at her, into her eyes which could not see. He began slowly and softly. “I… I don’t know. I can… look for something. But…. I don’t know, Eirra, I’m sorry.” The words hung in the air, hollow and filled with a staggering emptiness, devoid of all but despondency .
Having little else to do, Eirra turned and curled closer to Ryan, resting her head on his shoulder, burying her face in his hair, her hand clenching his arm. She heard him give a sharp intake of breath as she pressed against his chest, which had been slashed open by a LIGHT scientist’s knife only an hour ago. She pulled away. “Sorry.”
Ryan tightened his grip on her, pulling her back to his chest, his hand absently entwined in the flames of her hair. “It’s all right.” Though she could not see him, Eirra felt his presence, his strong arms encircling her body, and she smelled the enriching fragrance of blood mixed with the stinging, sharp scent of sweat and exhaustion.
The body could belong to anyone, Eirra realized in sudden horror. She couldn’t see who it was. Without her sight, she could only trust that it was Ryan who held her, who comforted her. In the theatre, it could have been her treacherous brother who had best to wrap her in his arms or her infidel of a father, or a LIGHT scientist. The only way she could recognize danger was by its voice. Until Ryan spoke, she could really have no idea who it was that held her. This realization terrified her more then the prospect of eternal blindness. To never see Ryan’s face again… to be exposed to the possibility of a protector’s arms turn fatal... Eirra felt sick.
A sudden claw of pure fear seized her and she began to twist uncomfortable in Ryan’s arms, trying to force her eyes to see, pleading in her mind for her retinas to heal, to regain her sight, pleading with fate to change. Gasps and soft cries escaped her mouth. She was helpless, castaway on a sea of darkness with no light, no hope, no promise of land or rest. Only more darkness to look at. These panic attacks had been coming in strong and merciless waves over the past 60 minutes, gripping her in their chaotic tide over and over again.
Feeling her fear, Ryan stroked Eirra’s chin, attempting to calm her convulsions, and lifted her face up to his. Her eyes were clouded over and blank with sightlessness. She continued to squirm as if trapped in some horrific, waking nightmare, until Ryan, very tenderly, spoke her name. “Eirra, listen to me.” he gave a sigh, and with the steady rise and fall of his chest, Eirra’s heart slowly began to regain a smoother pace. “I know-” Ryan’s voice faltered as he wondered how to proceed. He wasn’t very good at these things. “I know you’re afraid-”
But before he could continue, Eirra shattered into his words. “You can’t know, Ryan!” In her breaking voice was every wound she’d sustained that night, every aspiration for the normality that had been brutally been ripped from her in a matter of a few perturbing seconds. Her tone was a hurricane of fear and anger, confusion and pain. “You can’t possibly know! I can’t… I cannot see you, Ryan. I can’t see anything. I feel the warmth of the sun on my face, so I would assume it must be morning, but that could be nothing more then an illusion, a lie. I could be looking up into a heat lamp, or resting near a heater. I can’t know, Ryan. I can’t know anything. I can’t see, I’m blind. I’m blind, and I’m lost... so lost… and so tired…”
Eirra’s voice faltered and failed her, and she clung desperately to Ryan’s arm, leaning against him his torso, her short, jerky breath rocking her body erratically. She fought against the pain that tormented her eyes and soul, against the tears that threatened to betray her in her weakness. But as her hurt overwhelmed her, she gave in and simply let the tears come in shameful, unfaltering rain.
“Eirra,” Ryan spoke softly. “Don’t… don’t talk. Just… relax, don’t think for a second and listen to me. You’re not blind. You may not be able to see my body right now, you may not be able to see the beauties of the sun or the atrocities of the world, but you can still see- you can still see me. You see who I am, not how I look.” Ryan took a breath and went on, “You can still see beauty, Eirra, only now it will be true beauty. Not a mask, not a faux face painted to look like something pretty, but the beauty of the soul- an invisible kind of beauty that many go their whole lives without seeing. You can still see me, Eirra. You can see and feel my mind, my body, my soul.” Ryan blinked in surprise at himself, and at his sudden, uncharacteristic revealing of his unabashed emotions and thought. What surprised him more was that he recognized fear in himself; fear that Eirra would now look upon him and see the monster that he was. He had a longing to ask her what she saw in him, what he was to her, but he repressed the urge, and satisfied himself with looking down into her face, her eyes burning so brightly in the darkness, and tried to guess what emotions laid buried there.
Eirra peered back up at him, eyes unfocused, and whispered in a breath that brushed along Ryan’s lips. “I saw the before.” She confessed. “I saw you before. I mean… all of what you described. I was always able to see that thing, at least in you.” She paused. “You were- are- so… beautiful.”
Ryan blinked. ‘Beautiful’? It’d been a long time anyone had ever called him that. He looked at Eirra, looked at the sun that reflected of her pale face, that burned into the red of her lips. Before he knew what he was doing, his head was tilting forward and his lips met Eirra’s. Her lips in turn embraced his, salvaging the taste, the texture of him. His hand gently slid through her hair and down to rest on her neck; her hand found his face, and she traced his jaw slowly, memorizing him with her fingertips. The kiss lasted only for a couple seconds, but the fire it fueled burned in the two creations for hours after.
When at last they fell apart, both Ryan and Eirra turned their heads slowly, away from each other, and out to the world. Ryan’s face held the tinge of a red hue; Eirra’s was pensive and calm, her fear of blindness seemed to be frozen for a moment. The two outcasts sat quietly together, feeling the translucent beauty of the Earth washing up against their skin, absorbing the rays of the sun with their souls, oblivious and impervious to the violence and decay of the rotting lives and sins below.
Eirra rested her weary head on Ryan’s shoulder and the man looked down at her. Feeling the motion of his head, she tilted her head up in his direction and a weak smile played on her lips. “Want some possum?” she joked through her misery.
Ryan’s own laugh surprised him, but he didn’t stop. Neither did Eirra as she joined in, and the two laughed as if it was the last sound they would ever make, letting their laughter carry them far away from all the pain and torturous confusion they felt, away from the world and its worries and sadistic cruelties, away to their own unspoken paradise where they watched everything they knew begin a metamorphosis into something strange, something new, something very much like a pure and perfect beauty.
The End